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What type of funeral do you prefer?

Every family is different and all may not want to have the same kind of funeral.  Our family traditions, religious practices and personal desires guide the type of funeral service we choose.  Simple or elaborate services, public or private, religious or secular; these are some of the choices.

There are many places a funeral may be held, from funeral homes and churches to simple graveside ceremonies.  Some people may wish to have no services at all.  And these choices influence other factors such as whether the body will be present for the funeral, whether there will be visitation or viewing and if so, whether the casket will be open or closed.  The final disposition -either burial or cremation -also requires a decision.

It is an excellent idea to have discussed these choices and your own preferences with your family.  Such decisions ease the burden of decisions at the time a family must amke funeral arrangements for a loved one.

 Because there are so many choices, it would be impossible to detail all of them here.  However, below we will explain some basic service types.  As always, consulting a funeral professional or clergy person is advisable when you have specific questions.

a.  A few words about the "Traditional Funeral":  In most areas of the United States and Canada, a traditional funeral consists of some type of visitation or time for family to receive friends.  The deceased is placed in a casket, which may be opened or closed.  Following the visitation and viewing, a funeral service takes place.  The funeral may be held in a funeral home, church or cemetery chapel.  While most families select a service that is religious in nature, secular services may be held instead.  After the funeral services, burial or cremation may take place.  If cremation is chosen, the cremated remains are returned to the family for placement in a grave, columbarium niche or permanent retention.

    Regardless of the type of service that is chosen, it is important for the grief recovery process to have some type of gathering to receive the support of family and friends, acknowledge that a death has occurred, celebrate the life that has been lived and begin living our life without the person who has died.

    The type of disposition we choose for our body actually has very little to do with the type of funeral we select.  There are two main types of disposition and one that is considered an alternative.

b.  Burial of the Body:  When one chooses to be buried, the body is placed in a casket, then the casket is placed in a burial vault or grave liner, if required by the cemetery, and the entire unit is placed in a grave.  The close alternative to burial is placement in an above ground crypt or mausoleum.  This type of disposition is called entombment.

c.  The Cremation option:  If the body is not buried or entombed, it may be cremated.  Cremation subjects the body to a high degree of heat, reducing it to brittle bone fragments that are processed and placed in an urn or some other type of container.  The urn may then be buried, placed in a niche, or retained by the family.  Sometimes the cremated remains are scattered.  Even though cremation is planned, there is always the option of having a funeral service where the body is present for viewing.  Many professionals suggest that this viewing is helpful to the grief recovery process.

    If services without viewing are chosen, they may take place either before or after the cremation takes place.  If these memorials take place after cremation, the cremated remains are placed in an urn and are usually present.

d.  The Anatomical Donation:  The other option for disposition is the anatomical gift.  Arrangements are usually made in advance of death for a medical school or other institution to receive the body immediately after death.  Even families who make anatomical gifts may have funeral services.  The body, however, is seldom present.  At some later date, the body is respectfully cremated.  Directions for the final disposition are agreed upon in advance with the institution receiving the donation.  It is wise to consult the institution you intend to receive the body for details on how to accomplish this special type of disposition and on requirements for special handling.

    Once the decision about the ultimate disposition of a loved one or ourselves has been made, the public and/or private ceremonies -the funeral ceremonies will be determined.  You may have heard it said that "funerals are for the living."  And you have probably also heard that "we should be memorialized in the way that we lived."  Both are correct and offer sound advice.

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